Now Tom Cruise may never cum out of the closet and spend the rest of his life in typical Scientologist denial but Mission Impossible (the first two anyways) were super exciting and he looked oh so super sexy with his shades and masculine muscly form…and that teeth-flashing smile that we would all just die for.  Leather Obsession Mission Impossible 5 is as silly as that pseudo religion that Tom belongs to.  When oh when will these porn actors learn that they can’t really act and that as far as the real acting world goes they will be lucky if they ever get to do cat food commercials.  The script and attempt at a storyline were awfully written and performed leaving me almost too bored to get into it when the sex came into play.

Just like the Mission Impossible movies that this movie takes it’s name from it does start off with a bang !  The initial club scene is sizzling hot and the dialogue hasn’t bored you to tears yet so you can appreciate the muscly leather-clad visions of studlyness as they suck and fuck some very well hung cocks.  Word of wisdom to the watcher…Jack off to this hot scene and cum cum cum cos there isn’t much to make you cum later.  Yes…like that fizzly sparkly bomb thing that sparks off at the beginning of each Mission Impossible it just fizzles down after the initial scene with very blah sex happening when it happens for the rest of the movie and a lot of mono-tone dialogue until at the end just like that fizzly sparkly thing you know that this movie Leather Obsession Mission Impossible 5 is a bomb.

Halloween is one of my favorite Holidays…as soon as October starts I get all shivery knowing that it’s coming…you could say it coming almost gets me coming.  Why is Halloween so exciting you ask ?  Well because you can really let your freak flag fly honey and dress up as whatever you want.  Thats why when I see movies like Mud On the Helmet it makes me even more envious than when watching other porn.  Sure I’m always a little jealous when I get to see the yummy cocks these actors get day after day but this one…..they also get to dress up as the most macho of macho stud beefcakes…soldiers.  Go Go G.I. Joe.

Sadly the unifromed chemistry between these cumbatants was nothing too exciting and I quite frankly figure that considering they got to dress up they should have tried to role play at least a little harder.  I mean seriously they don’t even try to be butch.  If I got to dress up as a Sergeant I would be ordering those privates to tongue polish my privates to a spit-shine.  The sex itself though was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  Each scene had seriously deep ass tunneling as these guys plunged their rods balldeep and the cumshots were prodigous enough to give my tongue a craving for the taste of nuts and honey.  Three semi-excited swishing salutes to Mud On the Helmet.  (Next time get some butch soldiers)

First of all I have to ask what is up with the idea of soccer being played indoors in a gymnasium?  Even those silly speaking English people play their soccer outside, even though the weather there is wet enough to prune even the largest cock.  Also even though I don’t play soccer, or like it, I do know that the players are supposed to wear high cut floppy shorts with nothing to hold their cocks so that we can see their package swinging when they run down the field.  Obviously these guys either didn’t know that, or were just too rude to give us more of a show than just the short sex scenes that they delivered.

That’s right, I said short sex-scenes.  This whole movie is under half an hour long…that’s right, your average Simpsons, Family Guy, or South Park episode is actually longer than this whole porn movie.  Oh well you think, maybe the guys are total studmuffins with buns perfect for buttering and battering and huge cocks that will make you gasp in surprise and desire.  Well, stop thinking that way; the guys in Playin With The Coach’s Balls are average package size at best and the sex that they have is rushed, and feels very awkward.  I have reviewed a lot of good movies that are guaranteed hot jack-off material, and some that are not as good.  But never have I reviewed anything as poorly done as this one.  The only benefit I see to this movie is, if you have a short attention span at least it’s a short movie.

Now honey, even though a lot of churches have opened their minds enough to open their doors to us I’m still not really a church-goer, but I do like to sing the Hallelujah chorus at Christmas, especially the part where you go “Glooo-oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooria”…it always sends such a tingle up my spine cos it makes me think of Glory holes and our sexy savior Jesus spending time on his knees with his Apostles…I mean, trim that beard, put that long hair in a ponytail and that’s a savior I would savour.  Well this is a movie all about those glorious places called glory holes and the fun that some young dudes can get up to in such a place.

There is something primally exciting about a group of men together with sweat glistening on their muscles, grunting away and hearing that slap of skin on skin action…this is probably the same excitement that leads even straight men to go watching each other in professional sports.  While the glory hole action itself is super-hot, watching these guys gobble each other’s cocks with the same intensity that a man in the desert would go for water, the movie itself does not limit itself with just the gloryhole aspect but as advertised, also delivers gangbang after gangbang showing that not only are these glorious sluts anxious to have their mouth filled with cocks, but they also crave it in their asses just as much.  Glory Hole Gang Bang 2 was very exciting and kept me rock-hard with an intense enough orgasm that I recommend it to everyone, and I can’t wait to get to see more of this series.

First let me say that I felt very hurt and betrayed by this movie when it started because when I first saw the title, Measure For Measure, I automatically thought ‘Mmmm, footlong hotdogs for dinner tonight.’  Imagine my distress when I realized that the measurements weren’t about the things that really mattered and instead was just some cheap lying bastard publicist thinking that using alliteration was fine even if it misled me, and I’m sure many others into watching this movie.  Secondly let me say I came twice watching this movie and it was fucking hot.

These muscley macho men got my masturbation muscle working, and even though I had been deceived in thinking it was about huge cocks, each and every guy in this movie at least has a package he can be proud of, and certainly a package I would like delivered on my doorstep.  The intensity of some of the sucking and fucking was totally off the scale…you could literally see the set around the actors shaking in rhythm with some of the pounding thrusts.  Copious cum shots in each scene (they left me craving a McDonald’s extra thick vanilla shake) gave the afterburn to already sizzling scenes and I giveMeasure For Measure six excited swishes.